I abandon myself into your your hands. Into your Heart I commend my soul, in You will I place my heart
A Lectio Divina meditation on Psalm 55 from Nan Merrill’s book Psalms for Praying
Experience stillness and in the quiet hear what God is offering from these rich and hope-filled words
Give ear to my prayer, O Beloved,
and hide not from my
supplication!
Listen to me, and answer me; for
I am overwhelmed by anxiety,
I am tormented by the wily voice
of my doubts;
the oppression of my illusions
confuse me.
They keep me bound in a prison,
and, like bad company,
they enclose me in darkness.
My heart is in anguish within me,
thoughts of death keep me
company.
I spend hours in fear and
Trembling,
and despair never leaves me.
I cry out, “O that I had wings
like a dove!
I would fly away and be at rest;
Yes, I would flee far from my fears,
I would lodge in the country,
I would hasten to find shelter from
the raging doubts and anger.”
Stand with me, O Beloved, clear all
the confusion that dwells within;
for darkness and conflict dwell
within my soul.
Day and night fears attack without
Warning;
My heart is weak in the midst of
this suffering,
The end seems near at hand.
Oppression and ignorance do not depart
where truth is a stranger.
It is not specific doubt that
taunts me –
then I could bear it;
It is not a known fear that rises up
within –
then I could face it.
No, in my deepest being, I feel that
You have abandoned me.
We used to hold sweet converse together;
within the Silence we asked in
harmony and peace.
Let my prayer be heard, O Comforter.
Listen to me, and answer me; for,
I cry out to You in the midst
of my pain!
Yes, I call upon the Beloved, knowing
that Love will heed my cry.
From morning through the evening
I moan in my loneliness,
and surrender myself to Love.
The Beloved will deliver my soul
in safety
and give me strength to search
Within,
to find the source of my fear.
Love’s presence will make itself
known to me,
bringing comfort and stilling
this disquiet within.
With gentle and tender guidance
I shall find my way Home.
Fear and doubt sought to capture me,
weaving webs of confusion,
breeding lairs of anxiety.
Sowing false seeds of empty promises,
they sought to take control.
Yet You, O Beloved, were ever near,
waiting for me to call upon You.
I offered my fears up to the Beloved,
and Love heard my cry;
I sought the One who ever listens;
once again, I knew Love’s Presence.
Yes, You, O Believe, bring my fears
to the fore,
exposing then to the Light;
I abandon myself into your hands,
Into your Heart I commend my soul,
in You will I place my heart.