The greatest gift I have to offer the world is my transformed self
Its been a busy time – my Spiritual Direction practice continues to grow and there have been retreats to prepare for and host. And then there’s the usual stuff of life that needs to be seen to. There have been moments where it has felt like I’ve been walking near the edge and one step over it would be a tipping point into “too much”.
I love what I do, I have the very great privilege of offering to the world the fruit from the seed that had been within me all along. It is an immense gift that truly brings me joy. I also need to be keep checking in with how full my diary gets and with what I need.
The greatest gift I have to offer the world is my transformed self, the me that is intentional about being open to Love’s offerings – the offerings that invite me to notice where I hurt, what still needs healing within, where I’m feeling overwhelmed, tired, grumpy and out of kilter with the rhythm that The Beloved knows is best for who I am and how I’m made.
I notice once more the courage it takes to own my own fragility, my need for rest, stillness, solitude and space through my days. It takes courage and humility to admit that there are parts of me that are still broken and need gentle tending to. The garden of my life regularly needs to be meandered through, fully seen and then to receive what is necessary in order to thrive and continue to grow.
I listened to an excellent podcast on the Enneagram this week (here) and, when they spoke about the four (of which I am one), my eyes welled up with tears. It was good to remember that as a four I need space and time to simply be without the world constantly rushing towards me, I need to feel and notice what I’m feeling, I need to move and walk in order not to get stuck in the feeling/thinking whirl. I need relationship – deep, true and real and that takes time.
I’m giving myself fresh permission to be me, allowing myself to receive what I need. I don’t have to conform to an ever-driving, pushing, achieving culture. I do need to tend gently to myself in union with the Great Mama in whose fullness I can curl up and rest.
I will be making a few changes, some tweaks here and there to invite a more do-able rhythm. I will respond with grace to myself. Maybe you’re sensing the same invitation. What do you need? Does your rhythm need tweaking? We are powerful and we have choice – even if that choice seems limited and small.
You and I are worth tending to with kindness and compassion. We are worth slowing down for. We can take a deeper breath of reflection, we can say no when we need to curl up in solitude instead. It is here that we have time to notice who we are, to move more deeply towards living from what is most true about us and to receive the rest needed in order to be a conduit of love to a broken world that flows from Source rather than a leaking pipe.
May grace meet you here. May grace bring you all that you need.